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timeless (a poem about you), if i were a bird, the things i told myself

timeless (a poem about you)

i’ve been to the place where you spent four years of your life

and now i finally understand why time would slow down around you.

here, time does not exist

time is an illusion

a thought

a dream 

time is the inexplicable 

and the foreign

the iridescent corners of your mind. 

yes, i finally understand that with you

time was a vortex consuming my senses

and depriving me of the world i held true,

surrounding me with the sweetest twilight 

and the embrace of a thousand stars. 

i finally understand that you are a product of this space

an enigma where time does not exist and everything clicks into place,

but i am not. 

time is my biggest worry.

i am a result of struggle and despair.

time is the one thing other than you that i cannot get back. 

i am not of this place.

my only sense of timelessness was—


if i were a bird

i would fly far

above the shearling clouds

dipping, gliding, relishing 

the cotton candy wisps and

Virgin Mary air

i would sing as

the sun awoke

each morning crying out 

in pink and gold because 

he had once more 

killed his love:

the moon

i would watch from 

the cypress tree

the winding roads unending 

traversed everyday by those

without direction

wondering why 

meander when you could 


i would float above

embraced lovers on a bench 

whose lips were never to touch again

knowing that my heart would never feel

the pain of a thousand knives carving

your initials hilt deep in its pumping flesh

Oh, that I were a bird. 

The Things I Told Myself 

If he promises you the moon, accept. 

floating through my mind 

like a desperate spaceship hurtling 

through the abyss past the stars

and planets and routine engrossed asteroids.

Come back to me.

a plead, a silent scream echoing

in my mind like a broken 

whisper in a cave repeated 

over and over…

A mantra for sanity:

I’m doing just fine without you here.

a line to barricade 

the saline river flow from the world, 

growing weak over time 

as tides rise up and crush it to a million pieces.

If he promises you the moon, politely decline.

for the moon cannot be obtained, only light 

the night sky with its radiance in full form 

then dwindle to nothing as it did before.

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