timeless (a poem about you), if i were a bird, the things i told myself
timeless (a poem about you)
i’ve been to the place where you spent four years of your life
and now i finally understand why time would slow down around you.
here, time does not exist
time is an illusion
time is the inexplicable
and the foreign
the iridescent corners of your mind.
yes, i finally understand that with you
time was a vortex consuming my senses
and depriving me of the world i held true,
surrounding me with the sweetest twilight
and the embrace of a thousand stars.
i finally understand that you are a product of this space
an enigma where time does not exist and everything clicks into place,
but i am not.
time is my biggest worry.
i am a result of struggle and despair.
time is the one thing other than you that i cannot get back.
i am not of this place.
my only sense of timelessness was—
if i were a bird
i would fly far
above the shearling clouds
dipping, gliding, relishing
the cotton candy wisps and
Virgin Mary air
i would sing as
the sun awoke
each morning crying out
in pink and gold because
he had once more
killed his love:
i would watch from
the cypress tree
the winding roads unending
traversed everyday by those
meander when you could
i would float above
embraced lovers on a bench
whose lips were never to touch again
knowing that my heart would never feel
the pain of a thousand knives carving
your initials hilt deep in its pumping flesh
Oh, that I were a bird.
The Things I Told Myself
If he promises you the moon, accept.
floating through my mind
like a desperate spaceship hurtling
through the abyss past the stars
and planets and routine engrossed asteroids.
Come back to me.
a plead, a silent scream echoing
in my mind like a broken
whisper in a cave repeated
over and over…
A mantra for sanity:
I’m doing just fine without you here.
a line to barricade
the saline river flow from the world,
growing weak over time
as tides rise up and crush it to a million pieces.
If he promises you the moon, politely decline.
for the moon cannot be obtained, only light
the night sky with its radiance in full form
then dwindle to nothing as it did before.